I CAN'T ESCAPE

I tried to block it out mentally and I keep trying to forget.

Sometimes things get broken so badly you just can't put the pieces back together.

you took my heart and ripped it apart. Met some dude and threw him in my face and everyhting that happenned between you and him happenned.. and even more then I thought.

Everytime I start to block it out.. you bring it back and slap me int he face again.

It has become clear that I'm some toy.

I had a long convo with someone yesterday. and the truth is you can't do that to people

I don't help.. I kept coming back after everything you have done with this boy. The lies,sex, alcohol, secrets... I hate it. Maybe thats why you keep doing it? I've said plenty of times I wouldn't ever talk to you again.. I came back after you said you didn't want him. I came back after I found out you had sex with him..twice. I came back after you claimed you loved me.. yet texting him sexual messages, I came back after you promised to stop talking to him and yet you didn't.. I think last Friday I might have been pushed over the edge.

How do I know it different? You said like nine months ago? Nothing has changed.. you always got some boy you have kept from me..

I'm not as dumb as you think.. I'm onto you or know more then you'd ever want me to... it haunts me.

I want to stay friends... but is it possibly for my heart to let anymore go on? I want it to.. I really do.. as dumb as that sounds I do..

I just am not sure if it's possible...


if you loved me.. you wouldn't have done anything you did int he past three months

and I refuse to accept that image as love... that is not love in my book

"hes just there"

then keep him there.. I feel like hes doing you better then I am.

YOU CAN'T HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO